2 min read

The Side Part: Joffrey

The Side Part: Joffrey


Joffrey Lauvergne is made of velvet coated whispers. I can imagine that at least a few times a week, for no reason other than liking the sound of it, he refers to himself as The Sting. If you put the over/under for purple turtlenecks owned by him at seven I’d immediately take the over and spend the next several minutes filled with extreme confidence, patting myself on the back, certain I was right. A conservative estimate would be, like, eighteen. Gun to my head, put me down for twenty-two.

There is something very sneaky about him. He’s as loud as blankets, smokes cigarettes out those Roaring 20’s Cruella de Vil long stem holders. Could turn in a solid 6 and 4 in seventeen minutes of work while wearing brand new Chelsea boots. I’m not dead set sold on it but I’d bet you five bucks you could find bits of burrata in that beard. I’d bet you ten he knows who Muriel Spark is. I also think he’d really like Bass Pro.

Lauvergne played arguably his best game of the season in New Orleans last night. He showed a pretty sizable bag of tricks during it. There he was, driving closeouts, taking guys off the bounce. He can handle it a little bit. He buried Frazier on a switch last night, topped it off with a very classy, very elegant dunk. He has a nice feel for the game, makes the right passes, has the ability to make plays, and finish them when others have made them for him. I like Kanter and think he gets too much flack because we live in a society that is more interested in negatives than positives but I think Lauvergne soars if the Thunder ever offload Kanter.


Some other things:

The reason Alex Abrines’ beard looks strange is because it doesn’t come close enough to his mouth and the mustache portion is not strong. I respect his commitment to it, though.

This has been true for years, but Westbrook is Guard Shaq. Refs don’t know what to do about all the contact he creates. He gets officiated like a dominant big. It’s very strange.

Do you think Billy Donovan wears that necklace he’s always wearing after games, during games? I think he does. I don’t think he ever takes it off.

This is a hot take but Cameron Payne’s matador celebration dance for Abrines’ heat stretch last night is his best ever. This was a solo project and a labor of love. Really a solid performance by Payne.

I appreciate Victor Oladipo’s suits.

Westbrook is an elite celebrator and a cut above most everyone else in the league but Payne and Oladipo are also high quality celebrators who can more than hold their own.

As a fan I have a dream for this team that looks something like Westbrook, Oladipo, Payne, Grant, and Adams. A super small lineup that can cover lots of ground and play fast with Adams cleaning up mistakes on the defensive end. I imagine them all like water bugs jittering around and wreaking havoc.