Thunder Journal: Birthday wishlist
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Today’s birthdays include Super Bowl champion Patrick Mahomes, country music legend Hank Williams, club music legend Flo Rida, bachelor living situation legend John Ritter, Mistress of the Dark Elvira and Daily Thunder beat writer me.
While Mahomes is prepping to beat the Ravens, Flo Rida is celebrating with some shawty wearing apple bottom jeans, Elvira is posing for a selfie with a 55 year old superfan at a comic-con in some hotel in Amarillo, and Williams and Ritter are resting in peace, I’m spending the first morning minutes of my birthday writing a journal entry.
I’ve always thought your birthday should be a day off, even going back to my elementary school days and all the way up to my rigorous Thunder beat days of now. So instead of writing the usual longwinded, pop culture-soaked article, I’ll keep this one birthday brief.
Presenting my birthday present wishlist from every Thunder player for the 2021-2022 season.
Shai Gilgeous Alexander. To make yet another leap and play so well that he overcomes the huge hurdle of being on a bottom five team and becomes an All-Star anyway.
Lu Dort. To finish better at the rim. Lu gets to the basket at will. But he’s always going so fast and strong that when he tries to touch it off the glass, it’s like the Incredible Hulk playing putt putt.
Josh Giddey. To stop dodging my hot mic question and give us all an answer once and for all.
Darius Bazley. To start hitting his 3s. If Baze could hit his long-distance shots at even the NBA average, the entire narrative on his overall game would change.
Derrick Favors. To play well enough for the first half of the season that he nets the Thunder a 1st rounder but doesn’t play so well that he costs the Thunder percentage points on their own 1st rounder.
Theo Maledon. To smile. I know you can do it, Theo!
Tre Mann. To become the best Tre(y) M. of the 2021 NBA Draft. OKC traded out of the #16 spot, Trey Murphy III was drafted at #17 and Tre Mann was drafted at #18. Murphy looked great in Summer League. If Tre is better than Trey like Sam Presti believes, he’s the most underrated player on this roster.
Kenrich Williams. Don’t change a thing, Kenny Hustle, you are absolutely perfect.
Poku. Go on the Steven Adams all-steak-all-the-time diet, tell us what’s in the danged fanny pack and play every game like it’s your last one of the 2021 season.
Jeremiah Robinson-Earl. Somehow, someway be better than Alperen Sengun. Just for the hot takes. This is the one I’m using when I blow out my candles.
Ty Jerome. To shoot every shot from 35 feet or more. Logo Lillard will become old news when people discover Ty Land.
Isaiah Roby. To give me an invite to The Breakfast Club. I’ve seen all the members and none of them can fill the Anthony Michael-Hall nerd role like I can.
Vit Krejci. To get some NBA run. I’m excited to see the Czech guard play and I’ll stream any OKC Blue game he plays via the Thunder app on a 4-inch phone screen, but I’d prefer to see the live 6’8” version.
Mike Muscala. To release an OKC remix on his rap track. Oh what, you didn’t know about MC Moose? Here’s my birthday gift to you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaClLqL_HXA
Gabriel Deck. To learn English just cause I wanna talk to the guy. That’s not entirely fair because I could learn Spanish. But they say it’s easier to learn languages when you’re younger and I just had a birthday that makes me OH MY GOSH DECK COULD BE MY SON WHAT IS HAPPENING THIS JOURNAL IS OVER.