There’s a lot to unpack in terms of the Thunder season — particularly on the playoffs/exit interviews/what comes next front. But I’m going to divert from that briefly and have a little fun because it’s the offseason and that’s when we let our hair down.
An article posted by Deadspin this morning revealed a sheet from the Thunder’s hotel in Houston, and on it is the complete list of aliases used by the players. There’s nothing quite as impressive as Mike Vick’s “Ron Mexico” (my favorite hotel alias of all time), but there is a lot here to enjoy and speculate on.
“I spot Crash Bandicoot, Lane Kiffin, Bruce Wayne, Tony Stark, Chris Rock, Chris Tucker, Marty Funkhouser (from Curb Your Enthusiasm), Walter White (from Breaking Bad), Dale Doback (from Step Brothers), and Jeffrey “the Dude” Lebowski. And “D. Hizmet,” which I would guess is a reference to the unofficial name of the Gülenist movement supported by Enes Kanter.”
So we have a pretty good idea on at least one true identity (Kanter), but the rest is up for interpretation. Without further ado:
I’d guess that Taj Gibson is Kiffin, Nick Collison is Funkhouser, Russell Westbrook is Bandicoot….and then I lose all track of what is happening. Here’s to hoping Alex Abrines is Dale Doback, because that entertains me to think about.